Welcome to the latest in our series of Migrant Tales, first hand accounts of the migrant expereince of New zealand taken from locations around the net.
Today’s tale was first published on a British news site, the author is an English man attracted to New Zealand by his Kiwi partner. He tells of how the initial excitement soon wore off and of all the things he misses about home.
There is no doubt he is torn between his dedication to his Kiwi partner and a desire to return home. This is a situation many expats in mixed marriages experience in New Zealand. There are no national statistics to show how many migrants come in to New Zealand in this way and there are certainly none to show how many of them are unhappy.
The situation usually becomes worse once children come along because it is virtually impossible for the migrant partner to move away, even if the relationship breaks up or the children were born outside of NZ ( for more read our long running thread Trapped in New Zealand – father won’t let child leave).
Here’s his story.
Opposite sides of the world
Living abroad has been OK, but not something I want to do again. Home is where the heart is, and home is definitely England.
I’m dying to return. This wasn’t a move I wanted, but it was important to my wife, who is from New Zealand.
In the beginning, it was new and exciting. But the yearning for home returned. I missed family, friends, old haunts, old work. I also missed good television, certain foods, hearing English accents.
Weirdly, the most homesick I think I’ve been was during the 2011 England riots.
Being in a mixed-nationality relationship is tricky because someone’s friends and family will always be elsewhere.When it comes to living in one place or another, there really is no viable compromise for most – you just have to choose one.
Wellington is a fine place to live, but England is the best place for us. Riots and all…
Simon **********, Wellington, NZ
E2NZ.org 
Well, you need to talk with your wife and explain it in economic and rational terms, eg are you the major bread winner, is your career suffering, parents aging, life set and stability and all the rest.
Food, TV, Friends and etc don’t quite cut it as reasons to return especially if this is what the wife wanted to get away from in the first place.
My wife is Japanese, I live in Tokyo, I have spent 8 weeks in NZ in the last 12 years. When I go home this first week is great and the second I can’t wait to leave, point being I have the same kind of emotions you do but they quickly fade an you realize that nothing changes and it will always be there. 18 months after a move the brain goes long term, this period is a big psychological barrier for most. Are you at the 18 month period perhaps?