Today’s story is taken from Expatexposed, it has also been re-published recently on the Japanese forum The Gaijin Pot.
It tells of an American migrant’s protracted stay in New Zealand, the bullying and depression that was endured and of how she and her children won refuge eventually in what must have seemed the most unlikely of places – the Arabian Gulf.
“It took me 16 years to “work my way out” of NZ. I got out one year ago next week. Had I known that this website existed, I would have had a MUCH easier time of it. I always thought and was lead to believe (by Kiwis) that it was me or it was my children’s fault. Sick, sick society…..shame on you. Those were the worst years of my life, as I came to see that I would never be accepted or understood simply because I hadn’t been born there attended the same kindy everyone else had or hadn’t whakapapa and the name of a whaka to give me the right to be a New Zealander.
No mater what I did to fit in or change myself….. I tried to change myself because I thought it was me who needed to change. Then the slow rot of reality and resulting depression as I saw the hopelessness of my situation. Years of hopelessness and feeling I was just waiting to die. Seriously. I was just waiting for it all to end. And then, about 2 years ago, I realized after each month went by that it was soon going to become impossible for me to afford electricity and food for my family, petrol to get to work, rates on the house and the mortgage payment. I worked out I couldn’t afford to subdivide my property, couldn’t sell my house, couldn’t drive 12 hr. shifts in a truck(I’m a 56 year old solo mum by the way), and had to do something quicksmart , or else.
It took me 10 months to get into a job in the Arabian Gulf and get me and my sons out of there. Those months were appalling, hard and gave me so much gray hair and we flew out on a wing and a prayer that this job would work out to be Ok. But it’s been very, very worth it. We are sooooooo much happier here in a Muslim country where the people at least show you some courtesy and respect and, though an entirely different and very strange culture, are ten times nicer than the “friendly” folks in NZ.My sons hate New Zealand and say they will never go back. I will have to decide at some point what to do about my ’stuff’ there but, if I can swing a way to avoid it, I will find another place to go before I die. I will do my best to stay hereabouts as long as I can manage. We are lucky I know, but we worked hard and suffered to get out. I can only wish for all of you who want to leave that it will work out for you. Honestly, I knew it was bad when we were there but it wasn’t until we got out that it hit me, what a nightmare. I always tell people here my story and they look at me in amazement….. They can’t believe it.
As for you guys who love it there, good onya mate. Aren’t you the lucky ones, eh? Give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back and smile a self-satisfied smile…… but never overlook, downplay or belittle another person’s pain because some day it will come around and bite you big-time on the a**. I promise you… mate.
And as for you delightful Kiwi trolls who visit this site and argue that all this just didn’t happen and we are all a big bunch of girl’s blouses…well (insert bad word) you. It happened to me and to my babies who had to spend 15 yrs. of their life in constant sadness and depression, bullied and abused by your nasty little sods of children and their teachers.”
Today’s posts – click here
E2NZ.org 
What i read here is interesting because i was trying to change myself to get accepted at work even after 3.5 years. I came from Africa as a skilled migrant so was shocked to read that people from Europe have the same feelings. Anyway, it’s survival of the fittest…
Visiting there when you still have a lot of money, you experience the best of it. YOu see the pretty scenery. You don’t spend a whole winter in a crap freezing mouldy rental huddled around a fire or heater. You do not come to know the people and are not the target of their behaviour. New Zealand has engaged in deceptive branding practices to attract migration and tourism, as well as other practices such as controlling the press to ensure that the worst features of their country are not well illuminated abroad.
When you use up all your money to move there, as this woman did by marrying a Kiwi and moving to his country (just say hypothetically he reverted to native form and became an abusive drunk, the children did not even want to go live with him but the court forced visitation and would not permit her to leave until the children reached an age where they could choose who they wanted to live with, and she was stuck there until they were 16 and the minute they turned of age the mum buggered off with the greatest of relief? Just hypothetically, not that there is a substance abuse problem in New Zealand) you burn your bridges. Because of the low wages, high costs, heavy taxes, and general pathetic quality of life, some never manage to accumulate sufficient funds ever again to reverse the stupid decision to move.
Bless this plucky woman for staying strong for her children, patiently saving, playing the waiting game, and removing them from that place, for their well-being.
Thanks for your comment Moonlight, it’s not easy and it’s expensive to leave New Zealand. Many migrants use all their savings and sink their capital into their New Zealand emigration adventure, some even openly admit to burning their boats. Getting out can be a lot harder than getting in.
I don’t really understand why, if they hated it that much, it took so long for this person to leave? Plenty of Kiwis have also hated living overseas, but that doesn’t make the country bad, just different from what they are used to. I think we all love where we come from, but there are problems everywhere. Some things such as housing (if you can’t afford to pay for a good standard of house), low wages for many & being so isolated that it makes travel expensive (although if you would like to explore Australia & the Pacific Islands they are close-by, are valid points. However if you watch the news or search for bad points about living in any country you will find it. Sometimes a place is what you make it & I think before you make a huge move to another country you have to ask yourself if it’s really what you want. Go & spend some time there before you move your family there, find a job & look into housing & whatever else is essential to your personal happiness. Why would you not do all these things before moving to a new country?
Maybe because they had to sell their house/save money/find a new job, etc. to be able to move…speaking is easy but when people have invested their life savings into a new country (specially a rip off like here) is not easy to leave, it’s not just jump in a plane and live as a homeless in the streets you know…
Dear friend,
Thank you for your comments, I feel what you say, I had also bad experience in Belfast, UK for 7 years of racism in Queen’s University of Belfast. I feel sorry for you but many thanks to you because I have just finished the expression of interest to immigrate to New Zealand. So here we are NZ is a Black Future.