10 thoughts on “6 Years In, Stay Or Go?”

1. Yeah there is undue pressure on the kids to perform and the support is non existent.
   Puplis’ deaths spark crisis meeting: “The sudden deaths of two Flaxmere College pupils in the past 10 days have sparked warnings for the Hawke’s Bay community to look out for signs of self harm. It is believed the two pupils were 15-year-old girls on the verge of their level 1 NCEA exams.” http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/education/9388081/Pupils-deaths-spark-crisis-meetings

   The rates of teen suicide are the worst here in the world and no-one seems to care.

2. Marc Whinery :
   We understand the education issues people report, but we don’t have the problem my nephew had in the US where he was expelled from school before every standardized test to get him off the role because he had a diagnosed learning issue they refused to treat and didn’t want his low scores to hurt the school.

   It happens here too only they’re not so open about it. When our neighbour’s kids school was concerned he’d affect their performance they used other ways of getting him to leave. The quality of the teaching here is terrible, it’s only the Asian kids that keep the scores up and the money rolling in. There’s so much manipulation going on here it’s incredible. Can’t wait to leave.

3. “You don’t see a flood of Americans, Canadians or French landing on these shores in rafts? ”

   No we come in airplanes. We live in immigrant ghettos like the North Shore, surrounded by South Africans. And we don’t make a stink about it. We know Americans aren’t liked. But we don’t mind because having been here 5 years, we still remember the “old country”. We laugh at NZ’s massive racism. The US gets race riots and much more overt and violent racism. We laugh at the “crime problem”, where the worst streets in the CBD/South Auckland are safer than the average streets in major US cities. We understand the education issues people report, but we don’t have the problem my nephew had in the US where he was expelled from school before every standardized test to get him off the role because he had a diagnosed learning issue they refused to treat and didn’t want his low scores to hurt the school.

   For all the problems I hear on sites like these, I can think of things “back home” that are 10 times worse. I get paid more here and have lower taxes, and those lower taxes pay for more services. We bought our first home 3 years ago, and housing has gone up so much since then (yes, problem people complain about) that we borrowed against the equity and are buying an investment property. It sucks that I’m causing housing prices to rise by buying a house that I have no intention of living in, but the government has made it clear that they don’t want cheap housing, because it would hurt investors and rich people, who are the ones who donate to (and run for) political parties.

   It’s not perfect, but it’s so much better than where I left, I’m not upset, and I wasn’t mislead before coming, I did my research and it was what I expected. I wish everyone the best of luck, but I just don’t see the problems reported to the extent described.

   Even for custody (another thread I was reading), the laws here are simpler and clearer than the US. Though not in line with the rest of the world. My wife had a previous child, and if she dies, the courts will look at the best interests of the child, with my “rights” and the “rights” of the birth father not really considered. Does that suck for parents in custody battles? Yes, but for a child who has spent the majority of his life in NZ and likes his school and friends, the US way is worse (snatch the child from the home, put the child in state care until the courts decide where to sent him, and always favor blood over family). We don’t have to look at expensive options like adoption, because the law favors the child, and the child favors NZ, and NZ favors the child’s wishes/needs. No, I didn’t test this in the courts yet, the mother hasn’t died, and hopefully I’ll never have to test it, but we have looked at it a few times ensuring the best interests of our children, and NZ does a much better job of that than the US.

   NZ may suck for those who came on rafts or whatever, but for those from the USA, it’s a step up. If you want cheap housing, move to Detroit. If you want a good life, NZ is better.

   • “but for those from the USA, it’s a step up”

     Surely, you jest.
     Housing stock, wages……..

   • “We know Americans aren’t liked. But we don’t mind because having been here 5 years, we still remember the “old country”.”

     Wow, you admit that New Zealanders don’t like Americans, and that’s ok with you. I guess you don’t mind your children being raised with such attitudes. No surprise then, that New Zealand does appeal to you. My husband and I, on the other hand want to raise our child to respect all people and not dislike them because of where they lived or what accent they have, and we don’t want to be surrounded by people who are “ok” with disliking people because of their nationality. That’s why we are leaving New Zealand after the New Year.

     I was raised in the States, lived there for many decades in fact, but I wasn’t born there. I am of Latin American birth, and have the black hair/olive skin of many people from my part of the world. In my personal experience, I have felt more overt racism in New Zealand than I had in the US. Where I lived in the States, there were people from all over the world, many Hispanics like me and felt well assimilated. In New Zealand I’m often aware of my “otherness” and I have had unpleasant comments leveled at me both for being an American and for being “ethnic” looking.

     “We laugh at the “crime problem”, where the worst streets in the CBD/South Auckland are safer than the average streets in major US cities.”

     Would you care to provide examples/statisitcs to back up such a claim. It so happens that I’ve lived in South Auckland for many years and I KNOW that there is a lot of crime here. My parents back home in their average street in a major US city have never been robbed, mugged, or vandalized in their home. There has never been a shooting in their neighborhood. The same can not be said about my suburb in South Auckland, where in 15 years my house has been burgled three times, vandalized regularly, not to mention two shooting in recent years. My New Zealand husband marvels at how families on the street where my parents live leave out children’s toys in their UNFENCED properties and no one steals them. Try doing that anywhere in Auckland, much less South Auckland. My question to you is – Have you ever even been in South Auckland?

     As for you doing research before you came, websites like this one which allow an unbiased view of life in New Zealand are only a few years old, so it actually was quite difficult until recently for the researcher to find anything apart from BS from interested parties trying to make a buck trying to sell New Zealand. Try to have a little understanding, although considering you think it’s OK for Kiwis to dislike Americans…

4. “Harden up”, til you get your NZ passport, then jump to Oz. Most ex-pats as well as Kiwis are “like rats off a sinking ship”. The “tall poppy” thing is not so rampant, and [in my case] are a bit more friendly to Yanks. Kiwis do better with Brits than Yanks.
   Every thing US is revered here, except the people that created it.

   Suck it up, get your citizenship, then go to Oz where Kiwis are allowed to stay and work as long as they like.
   NZ is one of the places that allow dual citizenship, so you should be able to keep yours.

5. @Wenger, I looked at your website, and you remind me of myself. I found that I developed a “wordy explaining tendency” a couple of years after I moved here, because it was impossible to communicate with these people, yet I needed to get a point across sometimes when a problem arose. I felt like they didn’t understand a thing I said. The more I tried to impart some important perspective to them, the less they seemed to understand, and the more I tried to explain it to them, in a vicious circle. Even explaining “against my will” (that is, futilely and knowing it), because I thought they “should” be able to understand. But the fact is, if it isn’t in their interest to do something, or if they don’t want to understand, they will not listen just in order to acknowledge improve the communication, even if they did have the ability. Persisting in it simply drives YOU crazy and makes you look crazy to them. Anything beyond the length of a text message is insurmountable and annoying to them, even many educated professionals. This becomes maddening when there is a genuine problem that needs addressing, and it’s not being brought out into the open to be dealt with. I did not have this problem back home at all, ever. People “got” me right away so I didn’t have to go on and on “trying to be understood”. It is so weird, when both peoples do speak English.

   They’re not much on the inner life here, are they! Reflection and theorising are a waste of time to Kiwis. They would rather be at the beach with some beers, baked and blitzed, or making money, or DIY or gardening. This is a fine lifestyle for some types. Not for others.

6. I feel your pain. I could have written this. I’ve been here 15 years and am 47 years old. Not stopping me from making my exit plan.

7. http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/viewthread.php?gid=2&tid=689854

   • So how did it go mate are you leaving or going to soon?
     I understand all your frustration when i have red your post it felt like myself and no you are never to old to leave nz ,and at the end of the day its not worth it to live here, its a crapp place, scraping by cents for day to day life. For what?? NZ will be bankrupt soon after Christchuch,,, leave Nz for new Zealanders with their island syndrome
     Best wishes my cultured man

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