MIGRANT TALES

Migrant Tales from New Zealand

Migrant Tales from New Zealand

What’s it really like to live in New Zealand?

Welcome to our series of Migrant Tales – hundreds of immigrants’ stories and tales about New Zealand that contain first hand accounts of the migrant experience gathered from various places around the net, plus some that have been sent in by readers.

New tales are being added all the time, to read the latest click here: E2NZ.org/tag/Migrant-Tales  there are hundreds to chose from.

What better way to find out what it’s like to live in New Zealand but from the experiences of others, the more you read the more you’ll see themes, patterns and commonalities emerging, from these you’ll have a good feel about how you’re going to fit-in to the country.

Some of the recurrent themes we’re seeing are

  • Low salaries
  • Problems finding work, overseas qualifications not recognised by Kiwi employers
  • Xenophobia, racism, bigotry and discrimination
  • Expensive, poor quality accommodation
  • Problems with the education standards
  • A lackadaisical attitude towards safety and security
  • Feeling that NZ is actively mis-sold to outsiders
  • Isolation, missing family, friends, old lifestyles etc.
  • Crime and a frustration with the way its dealt with
  • High cost of living -especially food, “Rip off NZ” etc.
  • Lack of culture
  • Dangerous roads and drivers, drinking and driving, hoons
  • No future for kids, older kids feel isolated and cut-off from friends and family, no support networks.
  • Bullying problems in schools and workplaces, harden-up attitude, not knowing where to turn for effective counselling services
  • The ‘Kiwi way’, ‘WWINZ’ (won’t work in NZ) small mindedness, #8 wire mentality, etc.

If you’ve already emigrated to New Zealand these tales may help you to realise that other people are having the same problems as you and you’re not alone in your experiences.

Do you think you were misled before you emigrated to New Zealand, are there things you know now that would’ve prevented you from emigrating if you’d been aware of them?

There is also another section of tales  called “What Kiwis say about NZ“ you may find it useful to know what New Zealanders are saying about their own country.

A Selection from our Migrant Tales

Migrant Tales – NZ v. UK Not All Its Cracked up to be

Migrant Tales – Californian Says Goodbye Windy Welly, Hello Sunny Sydney

 “Do you think this country is too far gone?”

Migrant Tales – the story of John Doe and Kimiko Suzuki

Migrants Tales – Back in New Zealand but for How Long?

Migrant Tales – Ripoff NZ Not a Shangri-La of Utopian Values

Migrant Tales – Nebula’s Tale

Migrant Tales – “Shall I Make the Move? Take the Risk” and Advice to Intending Colonists

Migrant Tales – Why We’re Leaving. If New Zealand offered a “great lifestyle” the place would have filled to the brim a long time ago

Migrant Tales – The Ugly Underbelly of Te Anau (Updated)

Migrant Tales – Engineer says New Zealand is “not a place to work”

Time to leave Queenstown

There’s a club and you’re not in it

Justice New Zealand Style

Binge Drinking The Bane Of The Culture And NZ Is A Nation of ‘MJ’ Smokers

British Cop in Northland: NZ’s “Crime Statistics a Work of Fiction”

Hong Kong Chinese: Moving to New Zealand is a Big Mistake

NZ Not The Land Of Promise For Me

Teaching in New Zealand and the NCEA

The UK Plumber’s Tale (updated)

British Sparky Can’t Find Work (updated)Do not teach in New Zealand you may live to regret itGoodbye New ZealandNZ Promised Land?

England is the Best Place for Us Riots and All

Get Out of New Zealand or Die on the Street

New Zealand Culture is Brutal, Something is Seriously Wrong

New Zealand is a Dump

I am young and I want to get out, Can you help me?

Brit Feeling “Foreign” In New Zealand. How About You?

Attention Nurses! You’re Getting a Rough Deal in NZ

Some of the Memories We Will Take Back With Us to Scotland

Winter is Coming and New Zealand Homes are Dank and Full of Draughts

“NZ vs UK – not all it’s cracked up to be. Is it just me?”

Foreign IT Workers Need Not Apply There Is No Shortage

Six years in New Zealand now I’m back in France

Indian Professional Faced Discrimination

Adele’s Story – Kids falling light years behind – A British mother’s tale

How resilient are we?  a New Zealand immigrants perspective

House buying and divorce laws – A British woman’s Tale

An insiders view of the tertiary education sector in New Zealand  – An American’s Tale

I Want Out : An American’s Tale

Immigrant Kid: A Hong Kong Chinese Tale (Chinese)

NZ, What’s To Miss? : A Canadian’s Tale

Green Migrants Beware of New Zealand’s Underbelly

This Is Why I Didn’t Like New Zealand: A British Tale

Why We Left New Zealand: An American Couple’s Tale

Chinese Student @ Otago

Civil Engineer Now Cleaning Ovens in NZ: A Filipino’s Tale

New Zealand Is Draining The “Me” Out Of Me: An American’s Tale

Expat In Christchurch Post Quake

New Zealand Expo, no it wasn’t

A culture of good enough will do

Perhaps We’re Just Unlucky But It’s Too Much. We’re Done Here

I’m cutting myself after move across the world – letter from a teenage girl living in NZ sent to a UK newspaper

Living Costs For One Person In NZ v. USA

Teaching in NZ – a migrant’s exit interview

Renting houses in NZ – a manual

Another work to resident visa issued from Shanghai

Effects of Christchurch quakes on expats

No Science or Skills Shortage in New Zealand

Trapped in NZ – father won’t let child leave

If you doubt discrimination in NZ read this…

Close minded Kiwis ruined NZ for us

100% Pure Rip Off

An American’s take on rip-off New Zealand

Studying in New Zealand

6 Years in, Stay or Go?

Two and a half years in New Zealand – NZ like South Dakota

What’s it REALLY like in New Zealand?

Heading home after 3 years

No work in Blenheim, moved to Christchurch

Education

New Zealand is like a postcard – “no sense of history or magic here”

7 months in and no work for tradesman husband

Three weeks in. An American’s first impressions of New Zealand

Teacher duped by the hype, couldn’t find work

Refuge from NZ found in a Muslim country

Why are people leaving NZ?

Economic suicide

UK qualifications not recognised

What we wished we’d known

NZ a more dangerous, more violent place

We chose to go with New Zealand. BIG MISTAKE

NZ without a job offer

Lastly, don’t forget to read the pages “What Kiwis say about NZ

120 thoughts on “MIGRANT TALES

  1. I have a couple questions for other immigrants to the land of the long white con. I am a qualified professional in the engineering field from and educated in America. I have lived in New Zealand for 3 years and I am now a resident after spending allot of time and money for the privilege to continue to live in poverty. I’m sure I also received some sort of psychic ability to see the future. After my last and only interview in the three years I’ve been here I had a moment of envisioning moving to yet another country where maybe I can find gainful employment so I may continue enjoy the lifestyle I’ve become accustom to, not eating out of rubbish bins and sleeping indoors.

    I have been seeking employment since my first work visa was issued and have small collection of rejection emails, and I found out early on the old fashioned way of cold calling, personally delivering your CV to company HR or snail mailing your resume to the hiring manager isn’t proper procedure the land of the long white con as New Zealand is far too technologically advanced for such barbarism and non refinement.

    New Zealand companies excuses for not pursuing an interview with me have definitely changed since the delivery of my resident visa. (At least with the very few that have had the professional courtesy to respond back to me.) Before I gave Immigration a small fortune and was given New Zealand residency the common response to me applying for a job was ‘you’re qualifications are great but sorry we’re looking for a resident or citizen’ so that gave me the push to fill out the 38 page application, pay Immigration New Zealand $1,250.00 for my residency and now that I have obtained my residency it’s easier to be brushed off the short list because “other people are more suited for the role.” (I’m not even sure what they mean by that statement it’s so broad, I would like to have a general in the ball park statement.) for most of the positions I apply for now, with no encouragement to reapply for other positions in the future.

    I just had my 1st job interview this week after almost 3 years of applying for everything from environmental services (janitor) to general manager. This interview consisted of almost an hour and a half of an HR person trying to convince me I was not qualified for the position I applied for at one point, then the topic of conversation drifted over to the position they’re offering being a huge pay cut from my previous employment which is really a non issue for me right now I just need a job bringing in income.

    My apologies for being rather vague but I don’t want to take a chance the chance of losing out on a paying job because an HR person found my story on Google and puts 2+2 together and I really need a chance for the job my wife’s pay is never enough to get us though the week.

    My confusion is that I applied for this position because I would be by all accounts and pretenses more than qualified for because I was born into this exact retail business, raised and worked in this industry from the time I was able to help unload delivery vehicles and stock a shelf, to later in life business owner/manager/operator involved in all aspects. My great great great grandfather started this business in 1923 that evolved to a small family chain, and my family, siblings, and myself included decided it would be best to liquidate the businesses to assist in the medical care and living expenses incurred due a bad turn of events both my paternal grandparents and parents being diagnosed with terminal cancer in the early 1990’s.

    My apologies for the long windiness of my experience. My question(s) are: Have any of you other immigrants or participant readers of e2nz.org experienced similar circumstances when seeking employment? Is gainful employment possible for new immigrants in New Zealand? Should I take my kiwi brother in law advise and volunteer my 6 year $170,000.00 tertiary education and well over 20 years in advanced sciences and technology and practice collecting shopping trollies at K-Mart (not that there is anything wrong with that as long as you’re paid for it) To I obtain that ultra strong Kiwi work experience, ethics and mannerism? or am I destine to hop the next train to nowhere because I’m not native, and professional networking is not even a concept in this country?

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    • My suggestion is to cut your losses and go elsewhere. Australia is a good option. Admittedly, one experiences challenges relocating to a new country and finding work. However, the situation is much more difficult in New Zealand than elsewhere.

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    • The real jobs you are are after are mythical. Why have people/migrants not worked this out yet!!!
      The government numbers on unemployment are fake and the real unemployment rate is significantly higher in all disciplines and it is getting worse. Just take a walk around your local area during the working week and see what people are really doing!!!

      It annoys me to have to keep on repeating this

      If you look on Seek it is either the same job advertised 10 times with a different location or a recruitment consultant who only interest is gaining a commission off you (but knowing your chances are likely about 5-10%) advertising for a job that the have noticed on seek (i,e the same job is advertised over and over again

      The only work you will get is low paid ‘slave’ labour.

      Cut your losses and leave. The once magnificent countryside that is promoted is fast deteriorating and once the tourist work it out its game over for NZ. If you stay you will be stuck in the never ending cycle of debt this country is built on. In Oz you may have a better opportunity (but it is getting tougher).

      Your call but don’t be fooled!!!

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    • Campbell live – TV3 NZ (sadly no more ) did an extensive investigation into Gloriavale

      Videos should still be available if you google

      campbell live gloriavale

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  2. I also find in most shops, they couldn’t give a toss if you bought something or not. Either pay the rip off price or bugger off. No haggling or reductions, buy one get one free, etc..nada. Remember, kiwis think they are doing you a favour and its a privilege to be paying out your arse for their rotten ‘goods’.

    Look at the likes of New World bakery section. It’s 8:45pm, they close at 9pm and they have a few Danish’s left, (I’m partial to a danish or two lol) and they don’t reduce them for quick sale… By that time they are actually quite stale, and will be chucked away, yet the tight cheapskate vermin still want to charge you full price.

    All I had to do in Tesco in England was ask one of the staff fiddling around with the bakery section was if they minded reducing what they had left over, which was a few danish’s (I’m a fatty sometimes) and the guy put the last 4 danish’s in a bag for me and put a 50p price tag on it. I said thanks very much mate appreciate it alot.

    You will never experience something like that here. Ever.

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  3. Go to any supermarket, shop etc, its always me saying hello to the cashier and thankyou, the role is reversed and its me giving them customer service ffs. I’ve even walked up to a checkout billions of times and said nothing, waiting for them to do the talking and I am not even acknowledged. The only thing the twat at the checkout says is the price while chucking my shopping to the end. The lazy wanker doesn’t even bag it.

    I don’t bother making chit chat with staff at shops anymore, frigging waste of time.

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  4. ” I think they don’t trust people who are different from them.”

    This is true. If you didn’t go to school with them or grow up in the same town, you are “foreign”, and if you came from another country?

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  5. This is what I’ve learned first hand from living with a Kiwi for 18 months:

    Kiwis are raised to repress their feelings. Many deny they have feelings. But really, they are programmed from a young age to repress their feelings. They never express their feelings. Their feelings belong to them. So they don’t share their feelings. That includes happy feelings. They don’t share any feelings. They don’t talk about their feelings. Not really sure what they think they accomplish by doing this.

    Normal relationships occur, in my opinion, because you want to share your life with someone else, be it a friend or a partner. That means sharing your ups and your downs. You want your partner to share your happy news and you also want them to help you get through the downs in life. So you share good news and bad news and they share your happiness and your sorrow. That’s how you can tell if someone really cares about you. Are they there for you in times of trouble?

    Kiwis don’t share their feelings. So they’re never going to be happy for you. And they are never going to be there for you when you are sad or in despair. They don’t do feelings. This means no one is ever there for them when they are down. So, they bottle everything up and explode with road rage. Many Kiwis openly yell and swear at other drivers. It seems when you are in your car you can loudly, openly and freely express your pent up anger. And they do. This happens because they bottle everything up (at the same time denying they have feelings) and instead of dealing with their feelings (talking about them, meditating, working out), they drink, bottle up their feelings, then drink some more, then yell at other drivers on the road.

    All the while they think this is normal. Thus far we’ve been in New Zealand for two years and I’ve yet to meet a happy Kiwi. I’ve met a few happy immigrants. And I’ve gotten to know about ten Kiwis quite well. But none of them seem happy. If they are happy, it’s in a very superficial way. Somehow drinking wine or beer leads to happiness for them.

    We lived with a Kiwi for 18 months, so we really got to know one particular Kiwi. They are so unemotional, it’s scary. The whole robotic, non-emotional thing is really bizarre. It’s almost like they are trying to hide something from you. And perhaps they are. I think they don’t trust people who are different from them. So if you are openly expressive and you share your emotions, you are suspect.

    I hope this changes with future generations, as I think this issue AND the tall poppy syndrome combined are holding this country back from being an amazing place to live. New Zealand could be a world class country. But, they are so busy repressing, brushing things aside, denying and pulling each other down (tall poppy syndrome) that they can really rise up to anything that matters.

    Another Kiwi I got to know really well said “Kiwis are not creative.” Creativity and art requires feelings. Kiwis don’t do feelings. So art is stunted in NZ. It exists, but it doesn’t flourish. In essence, Kiwis are their own worst enemy. The question is: Why are Kiwis their own worst enemy?

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    • You have made some excellent points and it helps to explain the high level of alcoholism in the society. The Kiwis rarely say what they mean or mean what they say. I find that this results in a superficiality and lack of genuineness amongst them.

      The lack of feelings and emotions are probably why the men have no idea how to seduce a woman. New Zealand is a strange place.

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      • I read here somewhere, (cant remember where) that conversing with Kiwis is like talking to an autistic person which is bang on. Not making fun of autistic people or putting them down, but thats exactly what they are like.

        I find kiwi women to be utter slags, but stuck up ones. The dress horribly as well. Its just a horrible, insidious little country that seems so repressed and lacking. I find they beat around the bush with everything.

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  6. Is it really a mystery how such a deviant tool is the head of state Nebula; – considering the nature of the brainless and soulless freaks that constitute the populace of this down- under and down- dirty cesspit country.

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  7. It is a very macho culture and men have a huge sense of entitlement and engage in misogyny as routine practice. Maybe Key simply thought that it was a nice gift, and that everyone in NZ likes to/ must drink alcohol, and of course would receive it readily as a gift. But a gift of booze as a token to smooth out harassment? Yes, well his mentality is interesting, but I would not like to be married to him, and I do not like him as head of state. I think he thought his casual manner with the pubic was a cool and winning tactic, but I find him simply inappropriate and well….weird. It is worth reading the latest Lauda Finem blog.

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    • Key is the perfect example of how brainless morons make it in high paying astute jobs in New Zealand. It’s also a mystery how such a tool makes it to such a position.

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      • As the old saying / bitter joke goes:
        “It takes an awful lot of people to run a government; and a lot of awful people”.

        also consider that he is only being called out on the 6TH time he did this.
        and consider that he needed some public tar-and-feathering
        and his bodyguard or wife didn’t tell him to stop being touchy feely.
        and nobody else bothered to either.

        However, short of shouting “keep your filthy hands off me” and drawing obvious, sudden, publicised attention … you can’t control the behaviour of someone who has no filters. That may not even be reported, as newspaper editors – know what butters their bread. Don’t forget that, in the beginning, the full account … only appeared online.

        The other problematic thing is of course, playfulness bordering on ignoring boundaries, is a trait that causes or promotes attractiveness _when done by the right person to someone else_.

        http://www.fed.cuhk.edu.hk/~lchang/material/Evolutionary/good%20genes%20hypothesis.pdf

        Yup, it takes a lot of awful people … to ignore the failings in character … of the person in charge …who has the power to make their lives difficult.

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  8. The use of date rape drugs is quite prevalent here also. “Horse” or is it “Donkey” didn’t even to hang around to let Amanda explain that she does not drink red wine, as he scuttled off. Horsing around, my ass. How does ‘the wife” cope with his little misdemeanours? I suspect that she needed another two bottles of his red JK special, probably to whack him over the head later on back at the McMansion.

    New Zealand Prime Minister John Key, once again doing his country proud around the world pic.twitter.com/RfbDvMRim

    — Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) April 22, 2015

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    • There’s some dysfunction when a male thinks an apology for harassing a female can be can be achieved with alcohol. This probably says a lot about a. Mr Key’s coping strategies and b. how he regards females.

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  9. You could get a job as a waitress and get your pony tail pulled. That is a real horse play and fun and games according to the Prime Minister. See you are missing out on something that is a real gas as you are not a girl working in Parnell in the PMs favourite café. And it has to be a gal with a pony tail to cater to the PMs kinky fetish that has made global headlines. See where the fun and games really begin in NZ. Maybe your sense of humour is not as highly developed and sophisticated as the real” fun-times for the whole family” Kiwi way. Wholesome or just plain down and dirty in Parnell? What a riot.
    That will be it, the source of the problem. Your sense of humour just needs adjusting.

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    • Two bottles of personalised wine seems to be the preferred method for humour adjustment (at least on Planet Key).

      Abuse women and then ply them with alcohol to help them forget and forgive. Where have we seen that method used before in NZ? Roastbusters?

      It’s not that women aren’t saying no, it’s that men aren’t listening to them.

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  10. Nebula, I am a Kiwi and it is actually worse for that as I feel embarrassment and shame on top of everything else. It is painful and frustrating. I have lived overseas in different countries and travelled widely and the most turgid whacked out shit goes down here. And I have lived in places like Yemen, which is actually more straightforward than this!!! Here it is just perverse, warped, and everything is back to front. There is an issue with lack of culture here and lack of meaning to life. There is also the white-trash, hill billy thing that drives me stark raving bonkers. You see it all the time as that is what you are often referring to. And then because of the NZ PC wank you are not allowed to say it as it is.
    Maybe here we can say it as it is?

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    • I’ve taken 2 days off work just to avoid the tools there. No one talks to me, no one has a laugh, no one has any personality, no one does anything but worship their worthless minimum wage job and go overboard with the supposed importance of it.

      You can do your crappy job AND have a laugh!!! Thats what gets me through the day, is a sense of humour. The guys I work with seem too scared to do anything other than mindlessly embody their job. It’s insanity, and coming from England I cant stand it. Like you said, Yemen was better. I bet theres more culture and friendliness there as well.

      I did have a Kiwi colleague at an old job and he was a laugh riot. Very very rare to find.

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      • I have to agree with you with a lot of what you said about ‘kiwis’! They truly are a unique bunch. I am from South Africa and although NZ has much lower levels of violent crime and corruption compared to SA, which makes it better than SA in that regard, i just don’t connect with most of them at all. I am around your age and life for me has been miserably boring for the last 3 years. I would rather watch doco’s, read books and browse online than hangout with the people i have come across here. There are a few exceptions, but the vast majority of people i have met here are not worth my time and the same is probably said of me and I couldn’t care less now! The Saffas i know here are either in denial or ignorant/arrogant or they are just apathetic like me. Depression got the best of me and I never used to be remotely close to having depressive traits..

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        • Hey Dave. Right off the bat I can say South Africans are a laugh as I’ve lived in a house full of them back in England in 2003. Drinking Castle Beer and eating biltong haha.

          I also like Die Antwoord lol.

          All South Africans I’ve met in my life have been very chatty, friendly, open minded and cultured and switched on. I know what you mean when you say you meet fellow countrymen in NZ who are apathetic and impartial to the horrors here and say they wouldn’t go back home. I’ve even had fellow Brits say they are now Kiwis. Pathetic.

          Are you going to leave NZ?

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  11. Inbred morons and the big ruler, King Shonkey Donkey. The henchmen are the NZ police. It is virtually a police state and it is dangerously fascist. Dumb people are preferred as they don’t make so much trouble and ask questions. Intellectuals and left wing arty types are despised, humiliated and ridiculed.
    Yeah cops are thick and train for only six months. When I allegedly breached bail, I was violently handcuffed in my own kitchen, without even being told that I was under arrest. I was dragged out of my house with no shoes on, only socks, and I had to beg for them to get my house keys and shut the backdoor. In the car I was still handcuffed very tightly so that it hurt. The sergeant was beside me and would not release the cuffs and in fact tightened them so that my circulation was getting cut off. I attempted repeatedly to throw up on him and he hit me over the face and said that I think that I am a little princess. Clearly there was a big personal vendetta against me, hence the bogus arrest. By the time we got to Central station my wrists were bruised and cut, and my hands swollen. The left one had the circulation cut off. Just before we got to the station the sergeant was mentally abusing me and saying that I am a C grade actress etc etc. As I exited the police vehicle I wiped all the snot, mucus and drool off my face onto the seat in front. It was nice to leave a personal touch.
    A friend of a friend who is a senior lawyer became interested to hear of these allegations made against me, and the conviction, and wanted to inquire as to why the police treatment of me was so illegal and over the top. He spoke to a cop he knows and found out that I did not pass the “attitude test.”
    Basically I had all these heavy criminal charges put on me because of how I think. I am an environmentalist (very naughty) a feminist (even worse) and I am anti-govt (a heretic).
    I guess thankfully that witch burning has been outlawed.

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    • I believe everything you say. Anything goes here, its a very bizarre messed up country inhabited by abortions.

      People always bang on and on about the scenery, as if thats all that matters. do people even stop to think what the people in New Zealand are like? I get fed up with my mates back home saying to me “how can you hate NZ??? I’ve seen it on Lord Of The Rings and it looks amazing”. I shake my head and can’t be bothered explaining why what they see is utter bullshit and a lie.

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  12. I found out that Kiwis do what ever they like, and most of it is destructive. Furthermore if you have redneck cops as the local police they may go out of their way to protect the actual law breakers. I find it really weird and incomprehensible. Quite a few people had to shift from this community as the local police would not put charges on the thugs. I had previously filed a formal police complaint and one cop made an early retirement as a result. The cops who were mates with the cop who “resigned” hated me and were after me. It is really nasty stuff and I have not recovered. I was calling 111 and the cops would not protect my property. I was literally begging a senior sergeant to help for weeks on end. When he finally said that I was the local crim I lost my cool big time, and accused him of corruption and the Dud-Dunners police of being incompetent etc etc. I found all these sources and articles to substantiate it, and sent them to him out of anger and frustration. The police used the baseball incident to convict me and made a false summary of facts. They were lying in court. The central witness (the one I pulled the baseball bat on) was clearly pretty unhinged and doolally, so the judge dropped the two false charges that the cops were trying desperately to make, and I just got done for having an offensive weapon.
    This is not a safe country to live in at all. It is Badlands. The real crims are doing fine and are supported by the state.

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    • Kiwis are weird full stop, and complete tossers. I was stopped by a cop the other day for speeding, 10k over the limit. Ok, fair enough, I broke the law, whatever, and I’ll pay the fine, but I also had to deal with the ego of the twat cop who pulled me over. He made a sarcastic point that I was from the UK, and I said do you have a problem with that? The police here are thick as shit, it obviously doesn’t take much to get into the NZ police force. I had to repeat everything twice, and its not like a have a thick northern English accent. He took forever to check out my details, gives me some long winded lecture trying to make out that ‘immigrants’ are bad drivers and I said thats rich coming from a kiwi, and he didn’t get what i meant because he’s THICK and remember Kiwis are perfect and the best in da world yo. I’d also like to mention that it was pissing it down and quite dark and he had no lights on where as I did. He only turned them on when he pulled me over. (I’m talking about headlights.) Double standards here.

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  13. Hello there everyone.

    This is my story, I’m writing this as I go, so apologies if it ends up being incredibly long, erratic, and jumps from one thing to another but I have to get out all this inner torment and torture (suffering) that I’ve put up with since coming to New Zealand.

    I have been in NZ since the beginning of 2007. I am from England. I am currently still here due to family commitments. I have a young child here with an ex kiwi partner, and this is the only reason I have stayed so long in this hell hole. I was 23 when I came here. I was outgoing, lively, relatively positive, enthusiastic and had purpose. I am now 30 and a former shadow of myself. And by that, I mean I am broken. Without sounding pathetic or melodramatic, this place has affected me deeply, and in all the wrong ways.

    You’d think after being here for 7 years, I’d of made at least a few decent friends. Not so. You’d think I’d of gotten somewhere in life. Not so. Coming to New Zealand has been the biggest regret of my life. It took maybe a year and a half for me to be completely sick to death of the place, and an expert at knowing the devious, twisted, conniving, insane, insufferable ways of the backward inbred kiwis. I want to make it crystal clear that I absolutely despise New Zealand and most Kiwis in general. Of course not every Kiwi is the same, but the majority I’ve met and dealt with are all carbon copied walking abortions not worthy of the air that they breathe. Theres simply no purpose to them. At all. I had a child with my kiwi partner at the time, (now my ex) which wasn’t planned, so i can blame myself for that in some ways. My son was born and I did the best I could to be a full time loving father and be there for him always. Thats why I am still here. I ended up hating New Zealand because the place is a massive drain on your sanity and finances. I am a creative person with musical and film making aspirations and trying to do anything like that here is a complete and utter waste of time. So through the years I just put up with living here, dealing with morons and the backwardness. Kiwis couldn’t run a bath. No one wants to do anything. I lost many jobs through anger and frustration because of the incompetence and tall poppy syndrome rife everywhere you go. People who I thought were my friends were infact just ‘bludger’s and users and it was always me inviting them over and buying the beer and dvds or whatever and they would never, ever return the favour. When the earthquake hit here in Christchurch where I’ve lived all this time, these ‘friends’ severed all communication with me after I said I couldn’t come and drive them about and help them with stuff because they didn’t have a car, and they went up the wall and basically told me to get effed. I had my own family to look after and was buggered if i was gunna be their bloody taxi and help out after I knew they were such using twats, and i knew they wouldn’t even offer me petrol money, like they usually didnt. But of course they expected me to drop them off home. Most of the time i never even got a thankyou.

    Let me make these points about kiwis

    1) There is something fundamentally wrong with them. This is not a joke. They are not a normal breed of human beings. They lack common sense, manners, any signs of intelligence, a sense of humour, insight and enthusiasm. All they want to do is represent complacency with their ‘she’ll be right’ attitude and reach the pinnacle of $hit. They are the most laziest people I have met in my life. Don’t ever criticise their precious country or the All Blacks or anything Kiwi related because they will freeze on the spot and have an aneurysm from being so offended. You will also be ostracised from their pathetic fraternity bum chum groups. You will probably be outcast from the whole bloody town. Everything is awesome here, awesome this awesome that. I get sick of the self righteous kiwi lingo. Notice how everything is shoved down your throat as well. Bloody kiwi this and kiwi that, 100% pure New Zealand etc. 100% pure bullshit more like. Yes, we get it, this is New Zealand and you are all bloody Kiwis. But please post the word KIWI everywhere possible just incase a non kiwi forgets this. Or incase a kiwi forgets its a kiwi. Or that the dogs and cats forget they are kiwis, and the birds too, and the air that we breathe. Theres being patriotic then theres going overboard to the extent of making your whole country seem obviously insecure and lacking. Watch the news here and watch them go crazy if a kiwi did something over seas. There could be a bus crash in Mexico with 20 people onboard all from different countries and just because a kiwi was one of them its major news. In reality, no one give a flying toss what a kiwi did/does, they are irrelevant to the rest of the world. Kiwis are insular minded weirdos, who thrive on nepotism and ripping people off. I’ll get to this in another point later on.

    2) The driving…….jesus…wept. This is one of the main reasons I avoid going out as much as possible. I used to be an even tempered person before I came here. I now turn into the incredible hulk when I go out driving. My stress levels go through the roof, and if im honest, i want to get out of my car and kill them. Kiwi driving is at best, horrific. Remember that ‘anything goes’ here. Everyday you will witness cars breaking, making a turn and then indicating. What is the logic in that? There is none, because kiwis don’t think, they just do. Cars pull out infront of you, because they cant wait 5 seconds for you to past, because its a race on NZ roads and get this, ive seen them looking the other way to the direction they are going while pulling out…hahahahaahaha…how does that work???? When i give them the finger or roll down the window and yell a nasty swear word at them in spitting rage, they look at you like a confused child. MORONS. They give you a look of “WTF? I have no idea what the problem is here?” Undertaking, tail gating galore, tail gating at every opportunity even tho im going the speed limit. The two lanes that merge into one is always a pathetic race. Watch them refuse to let each other go first. Kiwis think that driving here is a race. Everything is a rush job. Walk the streets and count how many cars have out of date rego’s or wofs, its astounding. Some of them years old!!!!! You can also have a good laugh at the idiots who try to cover up their out of date regos with the wind screen wiper. Muppets.

    3) Housing-A complete joke. Renting is a miserable experience. You pay out your arse for a Robinson Crusoe shack, and pay a fortune to enjoy the pleasures of it weekly. (Sarcasm.) You can read elsewhere on this site how bad housing is here in NZ.

    Watch out for real estates renting out run down dodgy properties with broken stuff, like a heat pump that…doesnt pump out heat…or cold air in the summer…just air… then when you move in, they will accuse you of doing the damage and make you pay for it out of your bond. Its a recurring little rip off trick ive seen them do countless times with other people as well as myself.

    4) If you are wanting to get the internet at your house, good luck trying to actually get it, is all I can say. I originally tried getting basic internet with Vodafone and they arranged a time for the technician to come over and hook us up, said he would be over at blah blah day at blah blah time and he never showed up. No phone call. Nothing. Phoned customer service and they make up some lie and arrange another date. The same thing happens. I gave them one more chance and you guessed it, same thing happens. Weeks later after going with Spark (had issues with them too) Vodafone post me a brochure saying hey come join us we’re great! Absolute clowns.

    No one calls you back here in New Zealand. The communication is non existent. Good luck trying to get anywhere with the likes of job applying and applying for stuff and emailing/calling anyone or having to leave a message. No one will reply at all. You will have to call back and chase after them all.

    Are you wanting supplements? Vitamic C? Some multivits? Order them online from somewhere other than NZ. You will pay something like $35-40 dollars for something like co-enzyme Q10 which i can get for 4-6 quid from Tesco in England, and New Zealand pharmacies sell them for 15 quid ffs. Go to hell NZ.

    5) Trademe-just dont bother. Avoid it like the plague. I would rather buy something brand new than have to deal with the scumbags on there ever again. Do your bidding and buying off ebay and use paypal if you like online auctions. NEVER trust a kiwi. Do not give them your business. You will be ripped off anyway and will be paying 10 times the price of what its worth.

    Everything in NZ is a rip off. Don’t give these blood suckers your hard earned cash. Do not invest in NZ. Do not do it for gods sake. You will LOSE. You will be ripped off.

    The 7 years i have been here i have learned that anything i do, is a waste of time. Talking to kiwis is a waste of time. Going to work is a waste of time. (Because its a black hole inhabited by zombies and thickos, whatever work place you go to. But i have to work to survive.) Trying to make friends is a waste of time. Having a sense of humour is a waste of time. Trying to organise anything is a waste of time. Motivating people is a waste of time. Imagine New Zealand as a desert island with a few amenities run by monkeys. Thats exactly what it is like here. The place is beyond incompetent. Things take a millennium to get done, even the basics. Also, for a country that boasts to have so many national parks and loads of space, why do kiwis cram everything into a tiny space? Why are car parks tiny and narrow? Why are fast food drive thru’s built for midgets? Why are car parks tiny? WHY??????

    Back to my point about nepotism-its who you know here, not what you know. Stuff your qualifications from back home, they are not accepted here. You are treated with disdain. Pay out your arse to get the kiwi version. Just because. Because they want your money.

    7 years on ladies and gentlemen and I sit here in my rented dive, and I am no further than i was when i came here. I worked two jobs for the last two years just to stay afloat and had a nervous breakdown. I have had to take prescription drugs for anxiety and panic attacks. I have nightmares every night and the boredom of this hell hole is crushing. Most of the other poms ive met here have been kiwi-ised and dont want to go back home. If i slag off NZ they go all funny and dont want to talk about it. If i start a lively conversation with a kiwi or crack a joke they act surprised and do not understand anything i say. Complete waste of time. I spend most of my time in my house after work and on the weekends, escaping by watching films, playing games, reading alot, doing my writing and music and just avoiding kiwis at all cost because its an utter waste of time. You see, I dont want to get pissed up on the weekends, worship rugby, play sport or indulge in boring kiwi past times so i spend my days and nights alone. I’m not a kiwi, i am English, and being a pom in nz is a crime. At the end of this year i will be returning to England for a year or two. I am very excited and remain hopeful of a better life there. I know as soon as i get on the plane, and it takes off, i will feel euphoria. I will mis my son deeply, but i have to go back for a bit before i end up killing myself.

    I have considered taking my life a few times out of pure misery and desperation. I never would because of my son but i do think about it sometimes. I feel so isolated and miserable here. No one should have to feel like this. Caught between a rock and a hard place. I love my son with all my heart and we are very close. So leaving New Zealand has always been an option but i couldn’t bare being apart from my son. I’m as tough and ‘well ard’ as any kiwi male here, and could take on the best of them, but i have my psychological limit like anyone else. You’re expected to harden up here, which means bottle up your feelings, never express yourself until you become a ticking time bomb.

    I don’t know wtf has happened to me. I have lost all sense of who i am, who i used to be. I am a wreck now. I avoid going out because i have to bite my lip and resist smashing an ignorant kiwis face in. I have an incredibly short fuse now. I dont drink or do drugs or smoke. I try and release my anger and hatred and misery through my writing and music but its not good enough. I feel like a prisoner.

    Please do not end up like me. The first time you get an inkling that you dont like it here..GET OUT. Make like a tree and leave. You will not regret leaving. There is nothing here but disappointment and a slow death.

    NZ is great for a holiday, nothing more. If you’re just visiting, im sure you will have a great time.

    Thanks for reading. I am leaving at the end of the year and am counting down the days. I am better than this, and you are too, to subject yourself to New Zealands bullshit and lies and fake promises. Futile futility.

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    • Nebula, a work of advice;- be careful when you are itching to smash an ignorant sheepies face in. I pulled a baseball bat out on one who was blissfully chainsawing my trees down, cutting the wood up and stealing it. He was on a trespass notice also. The po- lice went after me and not him!!!!

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      • Hahahaha nice one. It must have been so tempting to kiss the side of his cranium with that baseball bat. I’ve had kiwis do stuff without asking, like go onto my front drive and fix their fencing, as they lived opposite. A simple knock on my door and ask permission was all they had to do, and i would have said no problem. But noooo….kiwis just do what the hell they like so i went out and told them to eff off. What happened in the end?

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      • Haha.

        “This type of Nebula who complains about anything and everything, I believe that would complain wherever he is”.

        Funny how it’s always deemed ‘negative’ when you don’t kiss NZ’s ass or mindlessly abide by some bullshit moral code, (Facebook comes to mind) isn’t it?

        “Come here for three months and see. Very different from the Croatian. The menu is better and easier there. I do not mean to everyone. There are jobs.”

        Lol at 3 months. Amateur. Versus my 10 years of in depth horror experience. 3 months is a VISIT.

        How did you come across that website E2NZ?

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        • Goes to show how people think they know all there is to know about NZ. when in reality they know so very little at all.

          Backlinks Nebula, backlinks.

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        • Are you fluent in Croatian, Nebula? I didn’t understand a word of that. I have been on other websites and have read of people going to great lengths to find out the person behind the E2NZ site. A sort of New Zealand “Banksie”. However, i enjoy the site. I think that in many other countries there is more high end journalism which I enjoy reading. In NZ I don’t think it exists (except perhaps RNZ) so I get deeper analysis and comment from this site.

          Like

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