“You Know You’re In Flaxmere When”

Another selection of posts by Kiwis,  talking about New Zealand.

These good natured wall comments were left on the Facebook group  “YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN FLAXMERE WHEN” and they caused quite a stir when the local paper stumbled upon it.

The group’s remarks are supposed to be humourous, but with an element of truth. It looks like some people didn’t see the ‘humour’ in any of it and slammed the group for its lack of pride. Read also a link that one contributor left to a news report “Vigilante heads off to food bank” and see how close to the truth they actually are.

Here are some of the comments that have been left on The Wall:

  • this facebook group dominates the front page of the Hawke’s Bay Today..
  • when you see primary kids walking to school with no shoes on their feet, but stop at the shop to buy a pie for breakfast!!!
  • less than 50% of the parked cars have wheels on them.
  • when your mothers car gets broken into and all they steal is a packet of smokes and a lighter
  • when you cant happily drive to the supermarket without fear of being mugged
  • when people rent your house and when they leave they take the doorknobs, the locks the light bulbs and the lamp shades.
  • when local hoodlums beat up old ladies for their milk and change.
  • you open your eyes and see the weed wonderland that is FLAXMERE

“Police find 14 sheep crammed into car – national | Stuff.co.nz
Fourteen sheep were found bound and crammed into a car stopped by police in the Hastings suburb of Flaxmere early today.”

  • You put a brand new fence up, and withing 30 minutes theres tag’s.
  • The only packed place you see is winz.
  • your idea of a fun day is kicking over rubbish bins and then blaming it on the token gingas around the corner
  • Someone puts up a sale sign for their house and its written in spray paint on a piece of card board, saying ‘cheap houses’
  • Only the police know peoples real names. Everybody else just calls them by their tag
  • You know you’re in flaxmere when… if you walk around with an alsatian ( german shepard) people worry that it’s a police dog
  • you see 3 little kids running away from a cop while holding spray paint cans
  • Within 5 minutes your involved in a drug deal
  • the dads are giving their toddlers stones to throw at you…
  • you’ve chased a robber from your home in twyford back to thier hideout.
  • everyones scared to walk through rapist park at night coz u might get raped!!..
  • you go to the shops wearing shoes, and everyone stares and is thinking “faaaaarr you rich as”
  • Ayee ? not everyonee has bare feet when theey go to the shops ; Fucc’ not everyones poor out in flaxmere ; speaak upp !
  • 3kids on bikes and one a horse stare at you when u walk thru Flax park haha
  • You know you’re in flaxmere when… the usual outfit for grocery shopping is pyjamas, a hoodie and bare feet
  • thats algoods apart from the bare feet ; awaes gtah have shoes on when yuor out in public ! lol
  • oh and the pyjamas thats a sdrayt upp no-no !
  • a U see tha usuals at tha b0ttle st0re on dole day
  • There’s bullet holes in the bus shelters
  • when a 20 year old goes to the dairy and only buys 2 lollies
  • your cars on bricks! hahaha
  • thats so true
  • people stand outside the supermarket drinking bottles of budget 1.5L fizzy drink
  • Whats wronq wth that ?
  • you wake up in the morning and find your dads car over at the flaxmere church smashed up

Flaxmere – Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
‘Flaxmere (“Blacksmear” or Flashmere or Get off ma fuckin propatee*’) or also know as flaxmurder is a lower-class suburb of Hastings, Antarctica

For more about Flaxmere see:

“The danger of serious youth violence is increasing as juvenile gangs take up weapons, Hastings’ top police officer has warned. In a police crime report to be discussed by city leaders, Inspector Dean Clifford says the suburb of Flaxmere has between 13 and 15 gangs for just 10,300 residents.” February 2009

Posts tagged Flaxmere

2 thoughts on ““You Know You’re In Flaxmere When”

  1. Half of the comments maybe true, but in saying that its our lifestyle. Flaxmere will always be home to us flaxmerians, at least we know how to live, laugh, love and rip iish up!

    • All that happens in flaxmere could be blamed on the H d c for creating housing for the poor, the downtrodden, the homeless in the first place. The same scenario applies to Porirua. The downtrodden of
      Flaxmere have no chance of getting out of the gutter.

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