4 thoughts on “Turkish Citizen Tijen Kizildere Plans Hunger Strike To Leave New Zealand With Her Child”

1. @Mark/Andrew. Please do not come here with your passive aggresive, snide insinuations about Tijen made anonymously under a false name. They will not be published here. What your comments demostrate is that Tijen is wise to be trying to get her child out of New Zealand and into a country that will allow to to flourish to her full potential.

2. NZ is a nation of the bully and the bullied. Macho pricks everywhere especially in politics. My heart goes out to this poor lady, she must despair being held here. I would advise any foreigner who is dating a kiwi away on their big OE to think hard about taking it any further as undoubtedly they will end up being dragged to this backward insular place and end up living a life of loneliness. This I can confirm from people I know. Fortunately my wife and I are both immigrants and are finally in a position to go home, what a mistake the last seven years have been.
   How can a judge block a loving mother from leaving with her child because her violent Neanderthal husband was born in NZ. So desperate to keep the population up they will subject people to misery. God save this blessed little garden of Eden that we are all so very lucky to live in, MY ARSE.

3. New Zealand will pay the legal bills of any parent who files a Hague Convention return against an abducting parent, regardless of the merits of the case. If that Kiwi had a case, his government would be paying his bills for him. Apparently, he doesn’t have one.

   Parents in many countries are trapped because of the family court telling them they have to stay for the sake of the other parent’s access. Sometimes a parent who has managed to “grab jurisdiction” after persuading the foolish other parent to move to New Zealand, often on the basis of promises and lies about what life was like there.

   New Zealand is uniquely difficult, however:
   1 – It is not foreigner-friendly, it’s very far away, and very expensive. Many of its rough characteristics as a society surely placed stress on the migrant’s relationship and caused it to break up in the first place.The conditions in New Zealand also make it hard to survive whilst you are fighting the case. Recent tweaks to legal aid have made it harder to qualify for legal aid. Some parents will underwork or warp their lives in other ways “just to qualify for legal aid”. This results in the child in question not only having to deal with the court stress for years on end, but also living in poverty just so the parent can qualify for legal aid from year to year. Sometimes it is a parent trying to keep control over the child, sometimes a protective mother. “Protective mothers” are bad in New Zealand. We know that all men are good influences on children. Right? Well, they think so.
   2 – Gender relations are very strange there. The men often have “brittle bloke” ego problems and are catered to in the courts due to the “children must be hardened” and rugby-boy masculism obsession, yet New Zealand has aspirations to being progressive, so women must deal with backwards gender conduct in day-to-day life in society but if they end up in court, then they have to deal with officials who make decisions in terms of how their judgment “makes New Zealand look” and not based on the particulars of the case. They are supposed to treat cases as individual, but adhere in a conformist way to the latest case law “guidance” and trendy “psychosocial wisdom”, crap which will often become yesterday’s bad New Age idea.
   3 – Abuse and misrepresentation are widespread and often very craftily delivered by the New Zealand controlling parent through financial, emotional, family, and other pressures, operating through their local networks which most migrants have not found easy to integrate with. Only the worst instances of physical abuse, and sometimes not even those, influence a decision. Most of the generalised abuse is merely “characteristic of life in New Zealand”, where everyone seems to get away with things they wouldn’t get away with elsewhere. The civilised veneer is thin. Even if you can prove abuse – no one cares. Worse yet, the court will look at you in a worse light if you document abuse. “Fake positive” is the only thing they think is good for the child, even if it means turning your head from the effects on the child and invalidating the child’s experience and emotional reality. If the court even accepts abuse as happening, it will give the father the benefit of the doubt for being “reformed” when the time finally comes to present it, or assume you were somehow responsible for provoking it, or dismiss the effects of the behaviour on your life, and otherwise make it not worth your while to document or report. Women who report abuse are immediately suspect. Pushing the issue just makes you look mental to them. Victorian attitudes about women’s emotional fragility or even the greater emotionality of cultures outside of New Zealand are exploited by lawyers to the men’s benefit.
   3. The courts are overwhelmed, clogged with too many cases to process efficiently, and after long waits, you come up before the hurried judge, there’s your chance finally, but they do not even study the history, details, or anything, and will make snap judgments based on whatever appearance you present and their own subjective thinking, often coloured by your accent, nationality, stereotypes your ex or his lawyer has fostered about your home country or false accusations about your emotional state, even a state caused by the very circumstances you have been in, for years. Women in particular receive no breaks in this respect. Some of the saddest and most unfair situations in New Zealand, that I saw, and I saw many of them, were foreign women whose exes, after being terrible husbands to them in the first place, were claiming in court that the women should not be allowed to take a child back to some “dire violent poor” foreign country, and the judges, knowing absolutely nothing about any country other than New Zealand, assume that New Zealand is the “most family-friendly place for any child” and rule against the women. We know what New Zealand is really like. So this is crazy. The things you are prevented from saying because you are permitted only to present a “polished apple” to the judge in a genuinely weird “positivity contest” are critical problems that affected the life of that child and still do. They do assume that two parents are what every child needs, no matter how unhappy the child is made by forcing a mother to continue parenting with a dysfunctional man who’s good at “looking good in court” when the moment arises and reverts to type the minute he steps out again.The judges do not see what is actually going on, ever, and the lawyers cannot seem to present, the longer-term pattern of father’s behaviour that would demonstrate where the problem actually lies. They assume that one parent is always just as good as the other and write anything else off to unimportant squabbling. “Husband on drugs? You must have driven him to it by refusing to pretend to be happy in New Zealand!”
   4. A lady who worked at the women’s refuge told me that the lawyers try to make their cases cheaper and simpler by informally trading client wins and losses off with one another, and the judges wh have to swim in the local pool do this too. So for instance if the judge has given a lawyer a “win” with one client, he will not want to “look unfair” because they all socialise in the same circles, so he’ll throw some other client next time to the wolves and award a win to the opponent lawyer to keep in good. Some cases have already been decided before you even walk into court, solely on the basis of the appearance of legal consistency with no regard to the details that make any case unique. The money and stress – all wasted. To the great detriment of the child.

   In short, do not become tangled with the New Zealand courts. The inertia, ignorance, cost and bias are crazymaking to anyone who has ever lived outside of that country.

4. Kiwiblue what’s to stop you from getting on a plane and visiting your kids? If they mean that much to you why not make the personal sacrifice for them.

   Tijen is not being selfish, far from it. She’s desperate to withdraw her child from a harmful environment. She had to stay in a woman’s refuge whilst she was pregnant and says “T.S refused to make any Parenting arrangements.Refused to pay any Child Support. I didn’t get any support or Government hep during this 6 years.” Does he have the right to call himself a father when he appears to have had made very little positive contribution to the upbringing of his child. The law in this case in an ass when the welfare of the child and her mother are continually put at risk.

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