Migrant Tales – New Zealand is a Dump

Continuing in our series of Migrant Tales, first hand accounts of the migrant experience of New Zealand taken from locations around the net.

Today’s tale was first published on a closed expat forum.

If you would like to tell your own migrant story please leave one, either on that site or in our comments section.

New Zealand Is A Dump!

Posted: Wed May 02.
I live in New Zealand, a country in the Antipodes, and here is my Top Ten list of things I hate about New Zealand, starting at number Ten and counting down.

10. The Weather – It constantly changes. If it rains it is extremely grey and gloomy. If it is sunny it burns.

9. The Hole In The Ozone Layer – Thanks to industrial countries like Germany and the United States, we have a great big hole hanging over our heads which exposes us to the harmful rays of the sun. I go outside for two minutes and I am severly sunburnt.

8. The Government – their policy is to keep kicking you until you are down.

7. New Zealand Law – You get fined for everything here!!!

6. The AllBlacks (NZ’s Rugby Team) – they symbolise everything I hate, beer belching idiots, idolising maniacal baboons undertaking homo-erotic acts.

5. The People – The people here are soooooooooooo dumb. A chimpanzee has more intelligence. They are all drunk and stoned, and therefore have no brains or ambition in life.

4. The Traffic – I live in Auckland, we only have a population of around 1 million, but the traffic here is horrendous. The Public Transport system sucks, you have to catch two different buses to get 5 minutes down the road, and don’t even talk about the trains …. India’s are more glamourous.

3. The Drivers – they all need thick glasses – they are blind,there are so many accidents here, and the bus drivers try and squash you with the bus. I’ve lost count with how many times I’ve almost been crushed by a bus.

2. The Lack of Opportunity – the population is too small, so no matter what you do, it is unsustainable.

My number one on the list of things I hate about New Zealand is ………….

THE FACT IT HAS NO MONEY SO I CAN’T GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

40 thoughts on “Migrant Tales – New Zealand is a Dump

  1. I’ll put out a side of New Zealand the media never puts out

    For those who live in a state housing area,my father recently brought a house in Naenae which is in fact a poverty area and it has been robbed at least once and the Police never cared and it took them 2-3 days to look at the crime scene,back in 2010,I had my own laptop and I placed it in the lounge near the sight of the main road,my advice to people is if you live in a state housing area don’t have a laptop or desktop in the lounge and can be sighted from the main road or street,you can someone will want to rob your house

    As for owning a IPad or IPhone,not worth it in a state housing area as well,when you walk out of the house,you can bet at any given time,someone will stalk/follow you and I have heard of people who own IPad’s or Iphone’s who have been stalked and robbed in broad daylight and the Police won’t do anything about it.The question is not if but when

  2. anyways 19 years in New Zealand for me is enough,I am deciding to move to Japan in 5-7 years,New Zealand lets down its youths big time and I even tell my parents what was the point on moving to New Zealand

  3. Another good thing I like about Apartheid Fort NZ is that they try to bring out the health warnings that most media outlets in NZ won’t cover too

  4. I have some serious advice to people who think moving to New Zealand is a good thing,don’t listen to the media on what they say and also research the place for yourself before moving to it as it could make you regret if you don’t research

  5. I am FROM New Zealand (born here from migrant parents) and I have to say that I agree with everything you have written, but I can honestly say that I think you are being far to soft on New Zealand, and New Zealanders.

    The weather is atrocious (the forecasting service is a well known joke here), you can’t spend more than ten minutes outside in sunny weather without risking getting burnt (NZ has one of the highest skin cancer rates in the world because of this). Of course very little has been done about this. Apathy is one of the principle traits of New Zelanders, most of them would rather fry to the point of looking like a lobster than bother putting on sun tan lotion.

    The government here not only kicks you until you are down, but KEEPS kicking you once you are down. Many of the laws are DESIGNED to make sure you can never get anywhere in life, matching in with the well known tall poppy syndrome. In many ways this country has virtually criminalized success. Get anywhere and not only will you be abused at every turn, but the government themselves will treat you as their personal bank. They will effectively steal anything and everything from you that they possibly can to make sure you are at the same level as everyone else. Sick, broke and without any assets of significance whatsoever. It is so bad that I have known people, with children, who have moved from minimum wage jobs ($28,000 pa) to more reasonable paying jobs ($50,000 pa) only to be in EXACTLY the same financial position. The government effectively takes EVERY bit of their extra earnings.

    The New Zealand “legal” system. This is in the same state as New Zealand deMOCKracy (note the spelling). Put simply, it is a joke. Full of institutionalized racism and sexism it makes a mockery of civil rights conventions around the world. Recent changes have revealed the attitude of the government as a bunch of underhanded thugs. When they were caught out breaking the law to conduct an illegal raid on the home of a businessman, they decided that, instead of FIRING those responsible and charging them under the law, they would simply change the laws. Hitler would be proud of them for behaving like this.

    The people. Couldn’t agree more. New Zealanders are, on average, a bunch of uneducated hicks. Drugs and booze are everywhere. Dare to get educated and you will struggle against institutionalized and non-institutionalized stupidity at every turn. New Zealanders haven’t figured out yet that their “number 8 wire” mentality means “can’t do the job properly” to the rest of the world. They are unprofessional, and incompetent. This is the country that came up with “leaky house syndrome” because so many of their builders were so incompetent they couldn’t build a home with a roof that didn’t leak. Don’t EVER trust a New Zealander to do the job properly, you will have to check, and double check the quality of their work at EVERY turn (just like you would for a child).

    There are basically only 4 types of people in NZ: THUGS (NZ has the 5th highest violent crime rate in the developed world), THIEVES (entitlement mentality is everywhere and stealing from those who work to get ahead is at the government level), FRAUDSTERS (again at an individual, corporate and government level, the fiasco over the 100% pure nonsense is a good example of this), and BUNGLERS (if you want a job done badly, give it to a New Zealander, they are almost guaranteed to screw it up). You will note that almost every article on this website is about these 4 types of people and many individuals combine the attributes of more than one type.

    The traffic and the drivers. Yep horrendous. Somehow they just can’t understand how to run a properly functioning public transport system. Pathetic (see description of bunglers above). Often overpriced, never running to time, most of the public transport isn’t worth bothering with. As a consequence New Zealanders have one of the highest car ownership rates in the world, and traffic problems that should not exist for the size of their cities.

    Lack of opportunity is a huge problem, and as has already been pointed out numerous times by others the racism prevents many people from taking advantage of what little opportunity actually exists. And, if you do get a more specialized, and well paying job, you will still earn substantially less than overseas. Add to that the fact that the prices of goods are ridiculous and you have a combination that will keep you broke. Food in New Zealand is MORE EXPENSIVE than Britain by around 20% (even for food PRODUCED in NZ). Other goods are anywhere from 30%–400% more expensive than can be bought overseas. The situation has got so bad that many of the retailers are now effectively being used as show-rooms. People visit them, look at the goods, and then buy online from other countries.

    And finally, yes, the place is VERY hard to leave. The sheer cost of everything, combined with low wages, lack of opportunity and other issues makes this country easy to move too, and very difficult to move away from. In essence, this country traps people.

  6. So true about the buses, absolute reckless drivers who get away with tit because the cops are spending their time with speed cameras. Apparently speed kills, but I think it’s just a easy taget and a cop pout.

    • crazy thing is that these private buses are hired to take children to school. Watching them drive on those already bad roads is hair-raising, knowing that children are on them. Let’s not even mention the drugs and alcohol everyone seems to use, in addition to the driving itself and the tiny roads in the condition that they are in with barely any security railings on the sides of the roads

  7. Would have been a luxury to get by on that income. Good luck with making it back to the States. We were a family of 3 finally after short of a decade reduced to living on less than a third of our original income, 21K a year NZD. After all the starving tricksy Kiwis and misfortunes had their way with us, and we were growing our own veges, foraging in dumpsters, driving an ancient broken-down car that kept stopping at intersections. What a poverty nightmare that was. So glad to be gone and upwardly mobile again.

  8. I am an american. I’ve been living in NZ for the past 7 years. Funny, I now recall and identify with some comments made by my Canadian friend said to me when I’d only been here for a year. She said: You’ll see….You’re still in the bliss of the newness of it all, but you will outgrow NZ. I was only 25 when I arrived….Single, no responsibility and feeling like I would save and go on another round the world trip. Since then, I have had a child. I’ve gotten married. I want to build a life for my family and get ahead. It is JUST NOT POSSIBLE HERE. I was lucky enough to land a very well paid job $200k annually and my partner works part time and makes about $60k. With this money, back home, I’d be living a fine life. Here, we are living in a damp, moldy small house. I am shocked the house next door sold for over 1 million dollars!!!!!! In any case, I’ve gotten a chance to move back home and I’m taking it. You can’t easily build a career, get ahead financially, travel or live a healthy, comfortable life here in NZ.

  9. I am so glad I found this site. I am finishing a post graduate degree next year and was going to come to NZ as a single parent with my 3 kids. After reading the many posts on this site I will no longer be going after ‘the dream’ as it obviously doesn’t exist in NZ. I am going to save my money and find somewhere else to move to. NZ sounds like a frightening place to bring up kids!

  10. Wellington in June? Not bloody likely, there’s nothing like a NZ winter to remind you of the benefits of first world living :- central heating, double glazing, food on the table, a decent job etc. stay in Doha.

  11. Kiwi lover how exactly does getting out and joining a group solve any of the above problems? It doesn’t make the government any the less crap or the weather magically improve. Or are you talking about group therapy perhaps? yeah that should sort out the traffic problems.

    Maybe you’ve been there too long and need to get out and live a little, you’ve been in Wellington far too long. Avoiding your friend’s calls on weekends, how does that fit with joining-in? You sound insular and egotistical to me. Time to leave mate.

    • The problem for us with “Getting out” (although with the cold, mouldy homes, it was something we often wanted to do) was that you ended up spending money and time that was better spent making efforts to stay financially afloat. For what it is, New Zealand does not deliver on the cost for value ratio. A very expensive and postcard pretty far from everything backward place.

    • He got out, he’s in Doha loving New Zealand from afar but not wanting (or unable) to live there.

        • Shame you don’t love it enough to live here. Make a long term commitment to the place and then tell me you like living here. It’s a lot different when you’re stuck here and can’t leave. Part time Kiwilover FIFO.

  12. Sad, how does one reach this point? You are the captain of your own ship do not let people dictate to you or situations dictate to you. I have been in wellington for 5-6 years and I love it. Apologies if this goes against all the previous post but I do. Weekends are to short as we are always busy sometimes we do not answer the phone as we need time out with each other. Apologies if any of our friends see this heheehehe. Really, moaning about a situation does not fix it, get out and do something about it. Meet new people join a group damn there is so much to do, come on sitting on your behind does not allow you to meet people. Why not start a group who has your same interest and grow from there. I have lived in the Middle East for 7 years and expat life was totally different but we met up with various cultures and made it work. So your post saying that you are unhappy is due to your own inability to reach or go out there.
    I do hear the frustration but come on do something for yourself and not depend on others…..peace and love to all..

    • I have lived in the Middle East for 7 years and expat life was totally different but we met up with various cultures and made it work. So your post saying that you are unhappy is due to your own inability to reach or go out there.
      Pretty sure you have more free time to do the things you want when you are paid more than the locals or immigrant labour.
      I enjoy reading about CONsultants telling people that chasing your dreams leads to success.
      Since the stories of those who did but failed – rarely make the news.

      • Hi Ray, everything was not rosy over there but as mentioned we made it work. We did not give up at the first sign of bad weather, we adapted to our environment and once we had enough, we left. Come on guys, this is not doing anyone any good. Life is beautiful, NZ is beautiful and we don’t have to spend thousands to be happy.
        I have been around money, experienced the greed and it is not a great place to be…please take my word on this. Consulting is cut throat and it makes you a dangerous person wanting that fix of money even though services are delivered for a price(money,family,time away from home).
        Come on if someone says “in my experience” it means they have made this mistake before, so listen to that advice.
        Peace to all and cheers.

        • Kiwi lover, you’re obviously confused. You talk about living in Wellington and being too busy to talk to friends yet your IP address places you in Doha. Are you in the Middle East in the pursuit of material wealth, are you a dangerous person wanting that fix of money? or are you there because you like sand and its less windy than in Wellington?
          With luck you’ll learn from your experience and go back to Wellington a happier, wealthier and wiser individual.

          The other posts you made contravened our comments guidelines and will not be published.

          Have a nice day 🙂

  13. I don’t live in NZ (I once considered moving there) however I’ve noticed a considerable amount of Australia-bashing online, and it’s often definitely not the friendly “matey” banter that Kiwis often claim. Some Kiwis can certainly “dish it out”, so they shouldn’t whine when they get a serve from other nationalities.

    My theory is that many New Zealanders realise that they made a mistake by not joining the Australian Federation in 1901–their attitude is really “sour grapes”, it’s too late now.

    • Australia is awesome I would agree Russell – the best weather, shopping, beaches etc and sun. The only thing wrong is that too many Australians live there! LOL

      • “The only thing wrong is that too many Australians live there!”

        Actually jo, I agree, probably for different reasons. We certainly have far too many Suburban Redneck Bogans, could NZ accept 4 or 5 million? We’d be very grateful.
        It’s only fair, we have already accepted hundreds of thousands of the NZ Suburban R’dn’ck B’gan.

  14. I find it embarrassing that every time a “celebrity” from overseas is interviewed they get asked what they think of Nz. Well of course the celeb is going to say “oh it’s such a beautiful country” which is the exact same answer they would give to a journalist in Germany, Morroco, Tokyo – anywhere they go!!
    Nz is becoming a bit North Korean in how brainwashed people are that they can’t handle the tiniest criticism and love everything about Nz. I mean come on – Nz is a small expensive island with a cold windy climate, and a few hills and beaches. That’s it.

    • This is really true. The “NZ is best” cult is really weird. It is indeed just a small, remote couple of islands with wet weather and uncomfortable, expensive housing, and nothing much to do but outdoor sports. Nice scenery but life is not just all about a certain kind of scenery that’s nice, and you go to the end of the world and live in some difficult $$$$$ place just so you can look at it.

  15. I’m a New Zealander born and raised. You are entitled to your opinion, but you’re in Auckland. It’s no wonder you think Aotearoa (NZ) sucks. Most Kiwis hate Auckland for good reason, some of which you mentioned. But after reading your rather angry and overinflated exaggerations I came to the conclusion that I’m glad you have plans to leave NZ. Who needs another angry immigrant?

    • So much hate coming from New Zealanders.

      Who knew that. Most New Zealanders hate a quarter of the population? (“most New Zealanders hate Aucklanders”)

      Thanks for your comments, they’re all grist to the mill and a great insight into how New Zealanders think.

      That’s a LOT of hate.

      • You’re a rather determined person aren’t you? There is no hate inside of me, but you don’t know me so how could you know this? I love my country even if it has flaws and wherever you’re from, it has flaws too. Perhaps that’s why you wanted to immigrate in the first place?

    • Your Prime Minister disagrees with you. New Zealand would not be a sovereign nation without Auckland. In fact, if Auckland decided to secede and form its own city-state, the rest of New Zealand would have to capitulate.

  16. What is this crap? NZ is beautiful, clean and safe. Go to another country you bitter and twisted little guttersnipe. “It” has no money? You mean you have no money right? Don’t blame the country for your problems mate. And thanks for calling all of us dumb, I hope you lump yourself in that category. Go back to whatever run-down, polluted, corrupt cesspool you crawled out of. We’ll be glad to see the back of you. And btw, All Blacks rule. And this whole website sucks.

    • A “little” criticism? If that “New Zealand is a Dump” write-up was just “a little” criticism I’d really rather not know your definition of “a lot” of criticism. Oh and by the way, if you’re the same person who mentioned New Zealanders are dumb then perhaps you should re-read and take note of your own grammar and punctuation. It’s appalling. My guess is that you’re from the USA (spelling of “mom”)? Well, you’ve just let your own people down. Almost every person from the USA I’ve ever met has had impeccable manners and carries with them the spirit of generosity at all times. Americans are great people and if you’re American then you need to clean up your act. Whether you like it or not you’re representing your own country. In your own words; shame on you…

      • A complete racial profile based on one simple word?

        This blog is well read in the United States, some of our American readers may want to respond to your thoughts.

        IS New Zealand a dump and what causes people to write such statements?

        Why do New Zealanders take criticism of their country very personally?

        Have they lost their ability for critical analysis?

        Do they have a sense of humour?

        Re. New Zealand is a dump. Find a website called uglynewzealand .com offering a different perspective to the usual tourist shots and glossy photoshopped images.

    • Kiwis are very childish.If you say something bad about NZ they get very defensive,but if you say something good they will agree straight away.They dislike Americans and Brits but they like their approval.If someone famous praises NZ it will make the national news and kiwis will give themselves a pat on the back but if they criticize they get abused.

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