John Key Says So Long and Thanks for All the Fish – updated with ‘Banksy’ Farewell Mural & Kim Dotcom comments


John Key will forever be remembered for his failed attempt to change the NZ flag

Two days after losing the Mount Roskill by-election, with the hard yards of the Kaikoura earthquake reconstruction stretching 10 years ahead of him and the country up to its ears in debt, a nervous John Key has handed in his resignation.

Mr Key is known in the UK for saying NZ was relatively 100% pure. In Africa he’s got a rep for being ‘unable to remember’ his stance on the 1981 Springbok tour. In the US he is renowned for caddying for Obama, and being the subject of John Oliver’s mirth.

We’re leaving the story of his demise to Twitter. They tell it so well…

13 thoughts on “John Key Says So Long and Thanks for All the Fish – updated with ‘Banksy’ Farewell Mural & Kim Dotcom comments

  1. The incoming Prime minister is suggesting in veiled terms that he intends to start sharing the countries wealth with a few more people than the usual crowd of National party old boys ,much as I don’t believe this, it does appear to be an admission that they have squandered the countries loot among themselves for the past eight years and see the writing on the wall for another term if they don’t throw a few bones to the unemployed ,working poor and over 65 retirees.The lack of social services is surely starting to impact the tourism industry and let’s hope the naive young people are very careful about driving their vans around many parts of this country during the summer.Obviously we are entering into a 3 month period in which almost every essential service shuts down while the wealthy,politicians ,lawyers etc take their much needed vacations from their worthless unproductive jobs and another year has passed with no significant changes in regard to tourist safety or services have been implemented(little wonder with John Key as minister of tourism ) anyway any potential tourists please be careful out there and travel in groups as this is the season when you will be raped ,robbed and bashed by hostile impoverished kiwis,they’ll accuse you of causing road accidents ,pissing on their stuff and ruining the nation by your legally permitted freedom camping ,then they will physically attack you,to comfort you it’s possible that there will be articles written in the newspapers claiming that this never happens in N.Z ,sweet letters of regret,gifts of unwanted socks etc will be offered to you and we will all smugly carry on here in god zone .

  2. John Keys standout legacy will be the joke which is Auckland City ,”the Supercity”, the what ? I’ve lived in many different cities none of which called themselves such a grandiose title but all of which were far ore rewarding and habitable than the Supercity .One million dollars will get you an uninsulated wooden shack in a neighbourhood you wouldn’t want to walk to the corner store after dark.The Supercity has roadworks and detours and slow drawn out construction projects everywhere ,terrible public transport and disjointed suburban sprawl .Last week airport customers were faced with a 4 hour drive (usually 20 minutes) gridlocked and stuck in traffic airline pilots and flight crews were unable to make it to the airport,in true friendly kiwi style Air New Zealand charged customers rebooking and missed flight fees despite the fact that they had called in to say they were stuck in gridlock traffic in the Supercity.
    The good news is that the Supercity is allowing forty to fifty thousand more highly skilled liquor store dairy and fast food business owners to move there every year so at least you can get a beer and a curry while you’re stuck in traffic.

  3. Just watch the buffoons in N.Z parliament all they do is attempt to outwit one another with degrading humour it’s not surprising that they are complete failures ,N.Z was destined to become a tourist Mecca ,these failure people are destroying the sustainability our tourism while revealing in the short term profits .

  4. It’s very telling of the inherintant arrogance of the N.Z career politician that Judith Collins would now throw her hat into the ring as leader of any party,how stupid would she have to be to believe her disdain for law and the N.Z populace has gone unnoticed,This witch has put her personal aspirations and business connections above the needs,wants and legal requirements of this country and still believes she has a chance at being Prime minister ,people are not that stupid yet.I hope!

    • The audacity to feign surprise that this is going on when this corrupt immigration system has been the elephant in the living room for the last 10 years.The general public is aware that our immigration system is corrupt,teachers are forced to fabricate outcomes and turn a blind eye to help keep a well oiled I government sponsored immigration scam me this is one of the fundamental issues which is wrong with N.Z ,it’s so confusing knowing which laws are supposed to be deliberately ignored and broken and which laws are actually supposed to be adhered to,all the laws carry potentially heavy consequence when the powers that be decide their scam has run its course and need to find a patsy to make an example of ,doesn’t this just make a mockery of the whole system of government and law in N.Z.? I guess the ideology of many people is ,while government justify their existence by creating a new law everyday for every part of your life ,just be aware that there is absolutely no funding for inforcement of such laws ,so just do what the hell you want ,keep your head down and don’t get caught.

  5. John Key was never politician so he never saw his role as the leader of National Party or Prime Minister of New Zealand as being anything more than CEO of large de facto corporation, that’s why he’s leaving as it’s very common in large corporations and companies around world for CEO to resign and have somebody else on board to take over. So no conspiracy, or some deep hidden personal agenda in why he’s resigning, just another reason why in my opinion he should never of been made Prime Minster in the first place. The whole thing has been nothing more but millionaire vanity project, who was only ever in it for himself and his own vested interests and not interests of his party, his political caucus or ordinary hard working people of this country. Now, who does that remind you of ? You’re damn right ! That’s why this place is screwed … 😦

    • Yes.
      Seems like he actually has got a conscience and is trying to distance himself from one of the political agenda’s of the far right, albeit in a Freudian haphazard way, trying to absolve his heart.

      He is tired and has been for the last couple of years. He is not made for politricks,, it is not his natural domain, he says the wrong thing often. He knows it and has been running scared after each faux pas, sapping his health.

      His boyish charm and smile was pimped by National back in 2008, who was looking a bit haggard and needed some charm.

  6. Interesting to see another perspective. Key was presented in the Australian media as one of NZ ‘s most successful politicians. He’s certainly the hero of conservative politicians here.

  7. He was never a pollie, his social intelligence is low, but he has high strategic intelligence hence his foreign markets trader success, neurodiverse with a low empathy quotient as seen in his son Max. Borderline cycle path eh.

    His old moniker ‘The Smiling Assassin’ dropped as did his winning smile soon after entering politricks. He struggled as a pollie, which created this Kexit, and aside from media assurances, his health is not that good.

    Head honcho of NZ and top notch NZ quacks cant even keep him in good stead, or he let his health go, himself, with poor food choices. So he cant even feed himself properly. Which other world leaders do that?

    No doubt we will have a John Key movie to follow, like the Richie McMore movie PR hack.

    Time to turn off the telly, as this week will be full to the brim of toadying inner circle part members, knob gobbling their way to position and power.

    As with Trump and Duterte, Europe with Wilders and Le Pen et al, the world is entering a new far right, so maybe this is a sign of whats next for NZ leadership.

    Barack and Key both own Maui Hawaii property, so I guess some surf lessons might be in order.

    Sounds like a good idea to me, more sharks on the land than sea, now-a-days.

  8. Remember I had somewhere earlier said “Enjoy your little victory, agents of facism and feminism … your time is coming to a quick end with the changes in the political landscape that the elite cannot anticipate, since their ability to silence dissent … makes problems fester and go past the point of resolution that respects the status quo.”

    I’m reminded of that with Mr. Key’s resignation, given that when he was campaigning about the Silver Fern visa at my university, international students raising their hands to ask questions(including me) were IGNORED by the then Student Union president(she’s now at the Tertiary Education Commission … haha, get someone who doesn’t listen, to ask people what they want, then will probably ignore it – management by Checklist).

    Ignore the concerns of the ordinary fair-minded people who want a fair opportunity to grow and competition for proper service … at your peril.

    Anyhow, found a cool mention for the good people at e2nz:

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