UK Daily Telegraph Pans An Unexpected Journey: Boring

Following glowing reviews of An Expected Journey by New Zealand’s politicians the UK’s Daily Telegraph has published a scathing review of the film, awarding it only two out of five stars.

Film buff Robbie Collin thought the film was overly long with poor special effects, eked out to three episodes to maximise box office takings and likening it to Tolkein’s own words.

“Like butter that has been scraped over too much bread” was how JRR Tolkien described the supernatural world-weariness of Bilbo Baggins in the opening chapter of The Lord of the Rings.”

He goes on to talk about how the film was grindingly slow, drawing out the first 6 chapters of book, equating to one minute and twenty seconds a page. It is quicker to read the book than watch the film.

“This film is so stuffed with extraneous faff and flummery that it often barely feels like Tolkien at all – more a dire, fan-written internet tribute. The book begins with the unimprovable ten-word opening sentence: “In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit.” Jackson, by contrast, starts with an interminable narrative detour about a mining operation run by a team of dwarfs, involving magic crystals, orc armies and details of dwarf family trees that are of interest, at this early stage in what is supposed to be a family film, to almost nobody.”

Weta’s visual effects get a mention too, and it’s not good. The higher definition makes the sets look “proppy” and the rubber noses, “rubbery”. He likened it to a 1988 BBC production of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

Alongside the unforgivable mis-pronounciation of a couple of drawfish names and most of the characters being as an “amorphous dramatic blob” there are some stand out performances from James Nesbitt, Ken Stott and Andy Serkis.

However, the film can’t shrug off the boredom factor. One scene was so tiresome that even the characters lost interest.

“Gandalf has an interminable conversation with Galadriel (Cate Blanchett), Saruman (Christopher Lee) and Elrond (Hugo Weaving), which gets so boring that Bilbo and the dwarves leave without them.”

In conclusion, the film is a disappointment, both to lovers of cinema and Tolkein.

As a lover of cinema, Jackson’s film bored me rigid; as a lover of Tolkien, it broke my heart.

Some New Zealandish shire folk have reacted badly to the review,accusing the British press of jealousy, making comparisons to rugby, nationalist jingoism abounds :

Is there anything new here?
From what I see we have an unkept, unruley, nasty, vidictive, vitrol Press in the UK who are so envious of what New Zealand has and can do, that they just can’t contain themslves from trying to put us down. From Stephen Jones and Mark Reason on the All Blacks to this excuse of a “wannabe if I could only be …please,” critic, we can be very proud of the fact that we Kiwi’s are so high they look up to us and try and pull us down to their level.
A very sad example of pathetic envy. If only he could review as well as Sir Peter and his band make films, then he would be worth taking notice off. He does’nt! Go Sir Peter, you’re just too good for them and thank you for making us such a proud nation through your efforts.

I bet he has no strong opinion on New Zealand, and has no reason to; and simply didn’t think much of a movie. Why the vitrol against him and the entire UK press because he’s not a fan of a movie? I don’t like Coronation Street, but it doesn’t mean I hate all things British.

whilst others drew a comparison between the fakery of the film and the country

It’s ashame, i’ve heard more negative feedback than good about this film,will people still visit middle-earth now? maybe the people are fake and rubbery like the probs, and everyones alcohols in NZ so we may as well move at 48 frames per second.
Hopefully New World Order puppet James Cameron can do a better job with Avatar 2, looks like the illuminati will be sliding Peter Jackson down the ranking in light of this recent job.

You may read the full film critique here

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