NZ PM – Becks is as thick as batshit (updated)

David Beckham

John Key, NZ’s Prime Minister, Minister for Tourism and Amnesia, has sparked an international stoush after criticising British footballer and media celebrity David Beckham: he isn’t very bright according to Mr Key and his son (wasn’t this the same son who imitated a plank?) See also New “Gay” Jibe From NZ Prime Minister

As reported by the UK’s The Sun and other international news channels the PM’s clumsy and insulting mixed metaphor has cast the PM in a poor light internationally:

John Key made the stinging remarks – reported on Radio New Zealand – to a group of schoolchildren ( Dunedin’s St Hilda’s Collegiate) yesterday.

He told the youngsters that his own son had spent 45 minutes with the former England skipper when he played an exhibition match for an invitational side in Auckland in 2008.

The PM said Becks, 37, had been very friendly, but then cruelly claimed that the LA Galaxy star wasn’t particularly bright.”

Credit to Mr Key for being able to remember something his son told him four years ago, his recollection of that is better than his “brain fade” over the spying on Doctom, or his memory of when he did or didn’t sell his Tranz Rail shares.
Multi-talented David Beckham is obviously bright enough to have married a Spice Girl, amassed a personal fortune and built up an international modelling career that Mr Key can only drool over (when he’s done with Liz Hurley) The NZ public aren’t ready for shots of Mr Key in his Calvin Kleins.

John Key’s catwalk debut

We say give the man a break, everyone can make a mistake – his 100% Pure roasting on the BBC’s HardTalk, the TeaPot Tapes debacle,  his dedication to John Banks, promoting Hillary Clinton to the Office of President, his catwalk appearance and his trotie speech at the world cup, not to mention his son’s world famous planking photograph.

Two short planks?

These are just some of his more elegant contributions to NZ’s national IQ score.
Suddenly, Becks is looking good.
The UK’s Daily Mirror published a brief resume of the two men which makes John Key’s comments sound suspiciously like good old fashioned Tall Poppy Syndrome, something that the girls of St Hilda’s don’t encounter on a daily basis.


David Beckham

Age: 37

Born: Leytonstone, East London

Lives: Los Angeles

Wealth: £160 million

Education: Chase Lane Primary School and Chingford Foundation School

Family: married Victoria in 1999. Four children: Brooklyn, 13, Romeo, 10, Cruz, seven and Harper, 15 months.

Hobbies: charity work, tattoos, family

Honours: OBE, UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, numerous footballing awards

John Key

Age: 51

Born: Auckland, New Zealand

Lives: Wellington, New Zealand

Wealth: £26 million

Education: Aorangi School, Burnside High School, University of Canterbury where he studied accounting.

Family: Married Bronagh in 1984. Two children: Stephie and Max

Hobbies: Cooking, playing golf, watching rugby

Honours: ‘Chiefly title of To’osavali’ – given to him by Poutasi village, Samoa, in 2009

The public were allowed to have their say, including
9:22 PM on 2/11/2012

Everyone knows Beckham. Remind me again who this thick tw@t from New Zealand is.

Final score Beckham 1, Key 0.

3 thoughts on “NZ PM – Becks is as thick as batshit (updated)

  1. We didn’t write that, it was a quote from the Daily Mirror. Feel free to contact them and ask for an amendment because they also missed out Beck’s contribution to bringing the Olympics to Britain.

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